And so it ends.
With that, it’s all over. I finally reached the end of the nursing program… and to such surprise. I’m officially a graduate. I can’t believe that I’ve actually stuck it out and completed this so called nursing program. I still feel unsure about whether this is actually for me. Now that the school part is over, does it mean that my professors and instructors see that I am a nurse? That I have the potential to be a nurse? That I can actually be considered a nurse? I still don’t know.
Along with this so called “happy ending” we faced a tragedy. One of our fellow nursing mates passed following a stroke. At first, I didn’t really know how to approach the situation. Part of it was due to guilt. I constantly regret giving her such a hard time. I was mean. I wish I could take it all back and give her the time of day to really get to know her and I wish I could’ve done something to prevent it from ever happening. Maybe if I really listened to her, talked to her I would caught something that was abnormal.. and maybe she would still be here today. All what if’s of this life’s uncertain future. Her last journey here on earth was beautiful. Her final resting place overlooked an awesome view of earth’s natural structures and lifeforms. The last service was also beautiful. Her sister’s dedication song to her was perfectly sung and executed. SMH, I want to apologize for all the bad things I’ve done to you. I am very sorry for treating you like I did. Perhaps it was due to jealousy or just frustration on my part. But.. I really want you to know that I really do miss you. It feels really different without you here. I love you. Please take care of your sister, brother and especially your parents and cousins. They all love and miss you terribly. Meeting Edgar was also a treat for us. We were very happy to have met the guy that was making you happy. He’s an awesomely sweet person. We’re glad that you found him. Take care of him Steph!
Sooo…. now, I’m facing the terrible and infamous NCLEX. And Again, I am terrified! I don’t know if I can do it. See again, I underestimate my abilities of pulling though this. I need more confidence. I need to do this. I can do this… NO I CAN’T :P. No but really… I need to do it. I have less than 29 days to study now. ugh.
